The Play Date/excerpts from CONFESSIONS OF A HOUSEHUSBAND

The whole concept of a play date is really confusing to a stay at home dad, and just doesn't seem that appealing.  What are the rules?  Is there some kind of system to determine how many hours my kids can spend at your house and how many at mine?  Do I have to feed your kids, and does putting on a movie count?  Are there time limits, or late pick up fees?  What if you have three kids, and I only have two?  That doesn't seem fair.  And what if your kid's a high maintenance pain in the butt, and mine is a pleasure?  The whole thing is just not worth it to me.
And then there are the kids.  Little kids go to the bathroom with the doors open.  They take baths together.  Stuff like that.  You can't drop them off with me and just leave.  And I really don't want them anyway.  I can't drink a bottle of wine while I take care of your kids.  I could risk it with mine, but definitely not yours.  And every play date seems to open up my children to all the junk food that I have been sheltering from them, all the bad television that I have yet to introduce them to, and all the toys they don't have, and never thought of wanting before. 
Look, I'll take my turns watching the kids in our cul-de-sac, I'll let the neighbor kids come over and do art projects for an hour or so and mess up my house even more than it already is, I'll even take your kid to the zoo if I have room in the car, but no play dates.  If you want my kids to entertain yours for a few hours, fine, you can have them.  But don't expect it to be a reciprocal agreement.

Helpful hint # 71  If you decide to do a play date, meet at a neutral location, just the way you would on a blind date.  That way, if their kid is annoying, or the parent is neurotic, you can get out quickly.

Interview/Confessions of a Househusband

Interview/Confessions of a Househusband

Click on the above link to read my interview with the Feathered Quill.

Book review/Confessions of a Househusband

Book review for Confessions of a Househusband

The Feathered Quill recently reviewed my book which you can find on the link above.  While mostly positive, I was likened to Rosanne Barr for my funny, yet sometimes crude humor.  As I told one friend, we are both funny, crude, and haven't been relevant for 15 years.

Watch posts for my interview with Feathered Quill to be released soon.

The mini van/an excerpt from Confessions of a Househusband

Here is the problem.  When you’re a stay at home dad, you naturally start to get in touch with your feminine side.  A little too much, in fact.  You spend your day changing diapers, doing laundry, shopping for cat food, clicking by Oprah, Dr. Phil, and Days of Our Lives, trying to do it all in a manly way.  Which means making certain decisions.

            Take transportation for example.  Mini vans are not manly.  You might as well print Mr. Mom on my license plate if I get one.  You might as well have Mary Kay sponsor it for me and make it all pink.  Oh, sure they have those cool sliding doors that make life real easy for you as you hold one kid under your arm, scoot the other one inside with your foot, balance that latte and search for your keys.

            But real men don’t do certain things.  They don’t have cats that didn’t come with a girlfriend.  They don’t drink white zinfandel.  They don’t have little fluffy dogs.  Although they often do, they don’t admit to watching Sex in the City, Desperate Housewives, or Trading Spaces.  And they don’t drive mini vans.

            I found a way to have most of the luxuries of a mini van without adding any more touches of femininity to my resume.  I bought an SUV.

            Sure it drives like a truck and my kids bounce around a little.  Yes, it does get four miles to the gallon.  And no, it doesn’t have that remote control sliding door thing, or the DVD player.  But it’s manly. 

Boulder Book Store on Pearl Street

Confessions of a Househusband will be available at the Boulder Book Store beginning January 29th.  Look for the rack entitled "Best Sellers" or "Top picks"....then keep walking until you find my book.

The Boulder Book Store is located at 1107 Pearl Street, Boulder, Colorado.

An excerpt the book....the chapter on children and their doctors.

Helpful Hint #40   Buying medicine can be confusing.  You need pain reliever for teething, fever reducer for temperatures, and decongestants for noses and chests.  Most importantly, look for the words "May cause drowsiness" to make sure you at least get a nap out of them.

An Excerpt/Birthday parties for the kids

"Then, of course, there are all the moms trying to one up each other in the birthday entertainment side of things.  The jumpy castle things, the pinatas, and the bubble machines.  When I was that age we would run through the sprinkler in the back yard and simply dig into a store-bought, half frozen white cake.  These parties are so elaborate that the guests are given gift baskets.  It's like being in the audience at an Oprah taping."